Choose Yourself: Stop Waiting For Him To Choose You

Written By Phoenix Coaching

In this video, I go deeper into:

  • how self-abandonment shows up subtly in relationships

  • why waiting to be chosen keeps you stuck

  • what actually shifts when you become self-led again

  • how choosing yourself changes the way love meets you

👉 [Watch the Choose Yourself video here]

The painful moment when you realize you’ve been waiting or chasing after him…..

There’s a quiet moment many women reach in relationships — especially smart, capable, successful women.

Nothing is technically wrong.
You’re not being mistreated.

And yet… something feels off.

You’re giving.
You’re initiating.
You’re emotionally available.
You’re invested.

But you don’t feel deeply chosen, met, or prioritized in the way you want.

So you wait.

You wait for him to step up.
You wait for clarity.
You wait for effort to return.
You wait for love to feel mutual again.

And without realizing it, you stop choosing yourself.

What “Waiting to Be Chosen” Actually Looks Like

Waiting to be chosen doesn’t mean you’re passive or weak.

For many successful women, it looks like:

  • leading the emotional direction of the relationship

  • initiating important conversations

  • holding space for his feelings while minimizing your own

  • giving more patience, more understanding, more benefit of the doubt

  • hoping that eventually, he’ll meet you where you are

You’re not doing this because you don’t value yourself.

You’re doing it because you care.

But caring without self-leadership slowly erodes closeness.


Choosing Yourself Isn’t About Leaving or Withdrawing

This is where the conversation often gets misunderstood.

Choosing yourself does not mean:

  • walking away impulsively

  • becoming cold or detached

  • playing games

  • caring less

Choosing yourself means staying connected to yourself — even when love feels uncertain.

It means:

  • honoring what you feel instead of overriding it

  • trusting your inner signals

  • stopping the habit of over-functioning to keep the relationship alive

  • allowing space for him to meet you — or reveal that he won’t

This is not force.
This is self-love and self-respect.


Why Love Changes When You Choose Yourself

Here’s the part most women aren’t told:

When you stop abandoning yourself, the relationship dynamic has to change.

Why?

Because:

  • you stop doing the work of two people

  • you stop managing emotional outcomes

  • you stop leading from anxiety or hope

  • you stop negotiating your needs internally before expressing them

This creates space.

And in that space, one of two things happens:

  1. He steps into his role and meets you.

  2. You gain clarity without self-betrayal.

Either way, you win.

Because you’re no longer disappearing to keep connection.

Choosing Yourself Is the Foundation of Being Chosen

Real closeness doesn’t come from trying harder.

It comes from self-leadership.

From being so anchored in yourself that:

  • you don’t chase reassurance

  • you don’t over-explain

  • you don’t shrink your truth

  • you don’t wait silently for love to arrive

Choosing yourself is how you become fully yourself — and fully loved.

Stop Feeling Unseen in Love — Even When You’re the One Giving Everything

You’re strong and successful — so why does love still feel so hard?

If you’re always the strong one, the giver, the planner, the emotionally available one…
this free guide will show you WHY you end up doing everything in love —
and how to finally feel chosen, supported, and secure.

    You deserve to feel chosen, not responsible for holding it all together.

    ​

    We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.

    Take the First Step: Discover Your Love Blueprint

    If this resonates, know this:

    You don’t need to fix your relationship.
    You don’t need to try to be more “feminine.”
    You don’t need to work harder to be loved.

    You need to stop leaving yourself.

    Take my 60-second quiz to uncover the deeper pattern driving this emotional disconnect.

    It reveals:

    • why you feel alone even when you’re not physically alone

    • the dynamic that makes you carry the relationship

    • what you need to feel seen, supported, and emotionally safe

    • how to shift into secure, connected love

    👉 Take the “What’s Your Love Blueprint?” Quiz HERE

    This is the work I guide women through — returning to themselves so closeness, devotion, and emotional connection can meet them naturally. So they can feel fully free to be themselves AND deeply loved and connected in their relationship.


    Bonus: Discover what’s preventing you from recieving the love and adoration you desire.

    Gift 1: Get my Chosen and Cherished cheatsheet by entering in your email address above. Discover the exact shifts to never chase, prove, or settle for the real love you deserve!

    Gift 2: If you’re wondering whether your’re asking for too much or is he just unavailable?
    👉 Grab My FREE Guide here - Is He Emotionally Available—Or Just Saying the Right Things?

    You’ll learn if he is able to start meeting your needs and stop wasting any more of your precious time investing in the WRONG man!

    💖 Subscribe to the podcast for more weekly soul-nourishing relationship truths on youtube.


    PRIVATE COACHING:  

    You deserve love that feels:

    • Safe and secure, not lonely or hot and cold

    • Steady, not like you’re always chasing

    • Soul-deep, not one-sided

      1-1 Coaching For Women:  Real love doesnt keep you guessing or confused. Ready to feel safe, seen, and secure in love?  Chat with me here.


    Listen to Previous Episodes

    #toonice #overgiving #caringtoomuch #relationshipburnout #relationshipexhaustion #overfunctioning #anxiousattachmentstyle #anxiousattachmenthealing #EmotionallyUnavailableMen #RelationshipPatterns #Attachment Wounds #ToxicRelationships #Codependency #SelfWorthHealing #securerelationships #peoplepleasinginrelationships #feminineenergyandlove #anxiousattachment #anxiousinlove #anxiousattachmentstyle #highvalue #highvalueman #highvaluewoman #overgivinginrelationships #howtostopovergiving #highfunctioningcodependency

    Phoenix Coaching

    https://SabrinaPhoenixCoaching.com
    Next

    “I feel alone in my relationship.”